User:Ardy
| Ardy | |
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| Date of first site Fow Fow Fowder, created April 17, 2008 | |
| Joined: March 10, 2008 | |
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| ...as of May 3, 2011 | |
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Ardy has secretly been a proud member of the Juggalo Family since '98 | |
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Contents
Ardy
Ardy is a popular and handsome internet user on the web community, facebook. He is best known for his controversial Date Rape Waldo sites and his involvement in the landmark case YTMND vs. Hat World, Inc.
Early Life
Ardy was born Arthur Bigsby Inglehoffer in Bumblefuck, Indiana to James Arthur Inglehoffer, a Catholic priest, and Maria Ignacia Garcia, a Guatemalan Tomato Gardner his father had raped. Shunned by the Father who never wanted him, he soon turned to a life of hoodlumism, leading an adolescent gang of criminals known as the 5-Dollar Fleece Collars. The group terrorized local clothing stores, threatening and assaulting customers who wore "the wrong kind of fabric." In 1998, Ardy was arrested and sent to live in Long Island, New York with his rastafarian uncle, Goneja.
Internet Career and Success
Goneja introduced his nephew to psychadellic drugs and Reggae music, effectively mellowing him out and opening his mind to new ideas and viewpoints. It was then that Ardy realized his purpose in life was to spread his artistic vision to as many people as possible. His first artistic venture came in 2003, when he started the industrial ska band The Fluegel Shits, with his uncle Goneja on sax, and then-boyfriend rodheh serving as frontman. The band was not a success. The group disbanded after one particularly bad gig, in which disgruntled patrons of St. Charles Seafood Restaurant & Bar began chucking clam shells at the stage, jeering wildly, and dismantling the band's equipment, even going so far as to throw Rod's synth guitar into the lobster tank. Though a failure, Ardy's time with the band led to a newfound interest in internet marketing and promotion.
In 2005, Ardy's friend Steve introduced him to the internet dating site, YTMND.com. Ardy thought it was stupid and didn't come back to it until 2008. Upon arrival, Ardy quickly joined up with YTMND users in groups known as "fuck piles." Users would "lube up" and jump naked into the pile together, metaphorically, by exchanging comments, votes, personal messages, and playful "fuck-pats" through the social network. Ardy jumped from one pile to another, never finding a permanent home because of his disagreeable personality and refusal to shave his pubes. Groups Ardy was associated with include: The FPA (Flaccid Penis Appreciators), The Anal Victory Alliance, The Gabbly Gang-Rapists, The 2 Live Moon-Crew, and Boys2Mik3m. The successful run in YTMND was sadly cut short when Ardy's uncle caught him making a pube muppet site and kicked him out of the house.
The Hungry Years, Spiritual Awakening
Without a home or internet connection to lend him his perverse "fix," Ardy subsequently lost all hope and lost his marbles. He gained 40 pounds, enrolled in tantric yoga classes, and started leaving long messages on his own voicemail asking when he would call back. He was fired from his job at Popeye's and lived out of his 1985 Honda Accord. After he crashed it into a Children's Hospital, he found himself locked away in a federal penitentiary. On the inside, Ardy gained a newfound love of weight-lifting and prescription pain-killers. Once released, he parlayed these two new loves into his current career and passion, professional wrestling. Ardy now goes by the moniker "Ray Stanley, the Despicable Lounge Singer" a nefarious foe who comes to the ring wearing gawdy, multi-colored suits and singing old show tunes, chucking martini glasses at his opponents and berating fans for not appreciating "a classy professional such as himself."
Through it all, Ardy maintains a healthy new outlook on life, anchored by freinds, family, and deep love for our savior, Jesus Christ.
Users who claim to have Ardy's noodz
